It's prom season.
That means it's time for the religious right to descend upon girls like vultures, condemning them to swimming laps in the Lake of Fire for their unsightly and immodest prom dresses.
Modest mongerers and their teenage daughters will spend the next few weeks shouting over the mashed potatoes about what is and isn't acceptable dress for a teenage girl.
Voices will be raised, names will be called, frustrations will be vented. And in the midst of all this, teenage boys will be left out of these important debates, never once being reprimanded for their clothing choices nor being subject to lectures on modesty.
That means it's time for the religious right to descend upon girls like vultures, condemning them to swimming laps in the Lake of Fire for their unsightly and immodest prom dresses.
Modest mongerers and their teenage daughters will spend the next few weeks shouting over the mashed potatoes about what is and isn't acceptable dress for a teenage girl.
Voices will be raised, names will be called, frustrations will be vented. And in the midst of all this, teenage boys will be left out of these important debates, never once being reprimanded for their clothing choices nor being subject to lectures on modesty.
It's a frustrating reality. Whenever anyone mentions modesty, it's followed by a tirade of stipulations aimed exclusively at women. Your skirts can't be too tight or too short, they shout. Your tops can't be too tight or too low. The heels on your shoes can't be too high. Your makeup shouldn't be too full-on. For every accessory or clothing item in a woman's wardrobe, there's a modest version and a slutty version.
The pursuit of modesty has been assigned to women for decades. Women are solely tasked with the requirement to dress in a way that won't attract the attention of men. And when they don't, they are accused of being inappropriate, of encouraging attention of, in extreme cases, being the blame behind rape. You've heard the accusations: a girl wearing a mini skirt was raped. The rapist isn't charged because the girl was "dressing provocatively" and if she didn't want to be raped, she should have worn something else.
It's preposterous. That's like blaming the fruit Eve ate for the Fall of Man. It was too gleaming. It was too perfectly rotund; too fruit-like. If it didn't want to be eaten, it should have been rotten. Insane, right?
Funny how the women are to blame when men act out on indiscretions. I think it's time to set the record straight: my dress, skirt, pants or swimsuit can not force anyone to rape me. Instead of leaving it up to women to dress in a way that won't encourage attention, how about we educate men at the same time to practice self-restraint? How about we explain to them that no matter what she is or isn't wearing, a woman isn't their property or object. They are not entitled to any part of her that she does not freely give.
Can you imagine how much crime could be prevented if parents spoke to their boys the same way they speak to their girls? If we spent just a fraction of the time speaking to boys about modesty, about restraint, about respect, things would be different. Society will never change when only one half of the problem takes responsibility for what's broken.
This isn't a discourse against modesty. I'm all for being modest, but I also believe that modesty shouldn't be left up to the woman. Have you seen how tight those skinny jeans are getting? Men are in danger of being just as inappropriate as women, yet, everyone keeps schtum about it.
This prom season, why don't we try speaking up? When you're admonishing your daughters or the teenage girls in your congregations about the width of the straps on their prom dresses and the length of their gowns, say a few words to your teenage boys, too. Speak to them about the tightness of their jeans and their shirts. Speak to them about respect. Tell them that it is their responsibility to not take advantage of a woman, regardless of what she is wearing. Put some of the responsibility on them and see how quickly attitudes towards modesty can change.
The pursuit of modesty has been assigned to women for decades. Women are solely tasked with the requirement to dress in a way that won't attract the attention of men. And when they don't, they are accused of being inappropriate, of encouraging attention of, in extreme cases, being the blame behind rape. You've heard the accusations: a girl wearing a mini skirt was raped. The rapist isn't charged because the girl was "dressing provocatively" and if she didn't want to be raped, she should have worn something else.
It's preposterous. That's like blaming the fruit Eve ate for the Fall of Man. It was too gleaming. It was too perfectly rotund; too fruit-like. If it didn't want to be eaten, it should have been rotten. Insane, right?
Funny how the women are to blame when men act out on indiscretions. I think it's time to set the record straight: my dress, skirt, pants or swimsuit can not force anyone to rape me. Instead of leaving it up to women to dress in a way that won't encourage attention, how about we educate men at the same time to practice self-restraint? How about we explain to them that no matter what she is or isn't wearing, a woman isn't their property or object. They are not entitled to any part of her that she does not freely give.
Can you imagine how much crime could be prevented if parents spoke to their boys the same way they speak to their girls? If we spent just a fraction of the time speaking to boys about modesty, about restraint, about respect, things would be different. Society will never change when only one half of the problem takes responsibility for what's broken.
This isn't a discourse against modesty. I'm all for being modest, but I also believe that modesty shouldn't be left up to the woman. Have you seen how tight those skinny jeans are getting? Men are in danger of being just as inappropriate as women, yet, everyone keeps schtum about it.
This prom season, why don't we try speaking up? When you're admonishing your daughters or the teenage girls in your congregations about the width of the straps on their prom dresses and the length of their gowns, say a few words to your teenage boys, too. Speak to them about the tightness of their jeans and their shirts. Speak to them about respect. Tell them that it is their responsibility to not take advantage of a woman, regardless of what she is wearing. Put some of the responsibility on them and see how quickly attitudes towards modesty can change.